Intro To Iterative Lyric Writing

Iteration is defined as the act or process of repeating. For example, iteration can include repetition of a sequence of operations to get ever closer to a desired result. This is why we want to learn about iterative lyric writing.

Before we dive into what iterative lyric writing looks like, let’s look at an example of what iteration looks like in the real world.

Making Your Yard Nicer:

Iteration 1: Mow grass.

Iteration 2: Weed whacking – lawn looking good.

Iteration 3: Water grass and trim bushes.

Iteration 4: Put new mulch down.

Iteration 5: Gardening – cut back some plants, plant new ones.

Every iteration the yard has been improved. It didn’t go from a terrible yard to a great one overnight. It was slowly changed over time. Assuming each “iteration” to be a day, it took 5 days to complete the conversion of the yard.

This is the heart of iteration. You’re not worried about the end goal, you’re only worried about taking the next step. You know that each “next step” will help you get to your end goal, so you are satisfied with making something better over time.

Now, how do we apply this to our songwriting? We learned last week that we need to deliver at every part of our song, and there’s no better way to make sure we deliver lyrically than iterative lyric writing. 

So let’s take a dive into my latest use of this iterative lyric writing process. 

This lyric is from a song I’ve been working on. The section we are going to look at is the second chorus. The speaker is an old man, talking to a bird who has a broken wing. Winter is coming, and the bird has been left behind. 

The old man sees a reflection of himself in the bird, as they are both largely forgotten by the world, as they no longer provide “value”. I won’t go too far into all the different parts at work here, but let’s dive in.

I wasn’t happy with this lyric. I knew it needed to be better. But let’s take a look before I mention why I don’t like it.

I know the pain of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

And I hear your melody

You think you don’t belong

I honestly like the first 2 lines. They aren’t quite there, but I like them. I hate the second two lines. They sound corny. Honestly, they just suck.

Also, it doesn’t really add anything new. The first two lines reveal that the old man can relate to a lonely heart that cheers itself with song. So we already know the old man can relate to loneliness, and the bird is lonely too.

And then the second two lines just repeats that sentiment, but worse and more corny. “I hear your melody” adds exactly nothing and “You think you don’t belong” is basically just doubling down on the loneliness that’s already been covered. 

So I hate it. Which is why I started the iterative lyric writing process on this part. 

Let’s look at version 2.

I know the pain of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

I know how hard it is

To always stay so strong

Alright, we’re now at least starting to go in the right direction. It’s still kind of corny and definitely not great, but at least the last 2 lines no longer just repeat the sentiment of the first 2. 

Now we at least get new information from the second two lines. The old man knows how hard it is to stay strong. So he’s likely feeling weaker and more vulnerable. 

But I’m not sure this is what I want to say here. On to version 3. 

I know the pain of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

Living in a silent world

Where burdens don’t last long

Now we’re getting somewhere. Mostly because I love the line “where burdens don’t last long”. This is for several reasons. One is that it asks some questions. Does the old man feel he is a burden? Does he feel he isn’t a burden, but he thinks the world feels that way about him? Is he right?

So I like this. I don’t cringe for the first time. But it’s still not ready. I don’t love the “silent world”. Now, what I was going for was the “silent world” that the old man lives in, as it’s implied earlier in the song that he’s in a nursing home or hospital of some sort (opening line starts with “Hello nurse”).

But I don’t really want to comment on the “world” of the hospital or nursing home the old man is in. I want to comment on the actual world around him that we are talking about with the “burdens” line. 

On to version 4.

I know the pain of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

Living in a busy world

Where burdens don’t last long

Ok, so now we’re talking about the world around him. The world is busy and doesn’t have time for those whose life is not deemed to have “value” to the world. 

I like where this is going, but I’m not in love with the word “busy”.

Once again, I just wanted to change the lyric by a single word. 

On to version 5. 

I know the pain of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

Living in an absent world

Where burdens don’t last long

“Busy” bores me in this context, so “absent” is a clear upgrade. Also, it has a different connotation. Instead of a world too busy to remember others, the world is now too absent to remember others. 

What I really want is a word that evokes a bit of “busy” and a bit of “absent”. 

So we’re on to version 6. 

I know the pain of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

Living in a restless world

Where burdens don’t last long

I finally found my word. “Restless” evokes a world too busy to be sticking around. So, even when they are around, they are still somehow absent. When they are taking the time to be with someone, they still are feeling restless- needing to get back to their busy world. 

Now I’m about equally happy with the first 2 lines and the second 2 lines. But we can still make it better. 

Let’s look back at the first 2 lines for version 7.

I know the grief of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

Living in a restless world

Where burdens don’t last long

I thought “pain” was the most lackluster of the words in the first 2 lines. It just felt too generic when it could be more evocative if it were more specific. 

“Grief” is a clear upgrade here, but, as someone who has experienced a lonely heart before, I didn’t think it was the precise word needed. “Grief” is the type of pain you feel when you have lost someone close to you, usually to death. This wasn’t the type of pain we were talking about here.

Time to keep going with this iterative lyric writing exercise. On to version 8.

I know the ache of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

Living in a restless world

Where burdens don’t last long

“Ache” is exactly the word for the emotion I’m trying to get across. Not so much a sharp pain, but something that wears at you. Something constant. Something that hurts just enough to always affect you, but not totally take over your life. 

But I don’t love the use of the word “living” in the third line. It feels like a lost opportunity to comment on the old man and bird’s attitude towards the world. 

So here’s version 9, the current version. 

I know the ache of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

Clinging to a restless world

Where burdens don’t last long

“Living” is a boring word that tells us nothing in this specific instance. If someone is “living” in a restless world, that tells us absolutely nothing about their feelings towards this world. Are they angry at it? Do they care about it? Do they even want to still be in it?

“Clinging to” tells us exactly how they feel about the world. They do still want the world to care about them enough to give them the time of day. They still want to be a part of the world, not just left behind. 

Also, “clinging to” really doubles down on the “restless world”s attitude toward them. It’s so restless and ready to move on without them, that they must attempt to merely cling to the world- trying to hold on with the world pulling away. 

At each stage of this process, we made the lyric only marginally better, but from version 1 to version 9, it goes from eye-roll-worthy to a solid lyric that is saying exactly what I want it to say. Let’s look at the difference from version 1 to version 9. 

I know the pain of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

And I hear your melody

You think you don’t belong

I know the ache of a lonely heart

That cheers itself with song

Clinging to a restless world

Where burdens don’t last long

In the first version, all we really learn is that both the old man and the bird can relate to being lonely and feeling like they don’t belong. Not only that, the final 2 lines are cringe-worthy corny. 

But in the second version, we learn why they are lonely. They are lonely because they are clinging to a world too restless to have the time for them. The world has moved on. We also have some questions that can be asked. Are they really burdens? Does the world really see them that way? Do they feel they actually are burdens, or merely believe the world sees them that way? Their hearts ache due to their constant feeling of loneliness. 

I’d say there’s a pretty big difference. This whole process was done on the section level – we were iteratively making the 2nd chorus better. But, from there, we iteratively made it better on the line level and then even on the word level. 

By then end, the whole section is much better.